When someone is excluded, for whatever reason, it creates several different emotions. We need more inclusion in the world and less exclusion. Exclusion breeds many things, not all of them good.
If someone is left out because of the colour of their skin, ethnicity or religion, not only are they hurt, deeply and emotionally, several other emotions will be generated. To name a few, loneliness, resentment, anger, hatred are all bred by exclusion, especially if occurring on more than one occasion.
When you tell someone they cannot join or be part of your group, they immediately feel left out. That in turns leads to a feeling of isolation. The person begins to question what is so wrong with them that they are not good enough to be included? Are they not valued? Do their opinions and ideas not matter?
A wise person will understand it is not their issue, but the other persons. Just because they know this, it doesn’t mean the hurt feelings magically disappear. Even if the feeling is fleeting, it is legitimate and present.
Many times, the feeling of exclusion leads to resentment and anger. All the places and feelings we should be trying to avoid in this world. Understand that if you knowingly exclude someone, they may grow to resent you and become angry with you. After all, what makes you so much better than them?
Resentment quickly turns to anger if not addressed. Anger, then that may be acted on in many different ways, none good. Not only has the exclusion now morphed into anger, the anger will eventually breed hatred, if not addressed quickly.
There may be legitimate reasons why a person could not be included. Perhaps their was a limit to the number of people, or there was a certain outcome you were looking for, or an allotted time for discussion that required you to limit the number of participants. The best thing you could do is let that person, or group of people know why you are not including them. If it is a logical explanation, the negative emotions can be avoided easily.
My experience and faith both teach me that inclusion is always the way to go. When people are included, we show them they are valued and that they matter. You also show that you care more about others than you do yourself. Think about that for a few moments.
Being left out is like being picked last in a school yard selection. You were picked because you had to be, not because you were wanted or seen as offering value. If we understand that exclusions can create this feeling, why then would you exclude someone? No one intentionally wants to set out to hurt another person. It is the rare individual who knowingly sets out to make someones’ life difficult or unhappy, and those people need help themselves.
God does not exclude any of us, we exclude Him or walk away from Him. He is always standing right there, at our side, waiting for us to return. He also wants to be included in everything we do.
We need to stop seeing people by their colour or religion and start seeing them as a person who has value to add. That is how to show love, kindness and compassion. When we all understand that, the world will be a better place with none better than the other, only different.
When you consciously choose to exclude someone remember that exclusion breeds many things, not all of them good.