Why Me

How many times have you asked God, “Why me?” I know I have. On more occasions than I’d like to admit. Here’s the thing though – God isn’t making my choices, I am.

I’m pretty sure there are times God is shaking his head as he watches my life roll by. Sometimes with sorrow, sometimes with laughter. I am a work in progress with a sometimes twisted sense of humour, but at times I stumble. I know he wants only the best for me. How hard it must be for him to watch his children stumble through life.

As a mother of a stumbler, I can tell you it is extremely hard to watch your child, knowing you are just a bystander in their life. You can gently guide, suggest, demand, yell, but none of it will work because the choices are theirs to make. They can either listen to your well-earned wisdom or choose to walk down their dark path, stumbling and often harming themselves. The difference with God is He already knows, and as much as He loves us, He wants us to choose the way we live. Free will on full display. For him it is simple – you will either choose him or not. There is no in-between. He gives us every opportunity to choose him.

Free will allows us to choose the paths we walk. I choose to walk with God. It must be said that I forget this choice once in a while, not on purpose, but because I get wrapped up in the worldly things around me. They cause me to take missteps here and there. I’m a work in progress. The key is to learn. I’ve come to realize that when I don’t learn the lesson, I keep making the same mistakes until I do. These days I try to learn a little faster; the first time we err, it is a mistake – is the second a choice? I’m not entirely sure, but it is a lesson. A lesson that shouldn’t result in my asking, “Why me?”.

The biggest challenge in life for me is not judging. The world is full of people who make it easy for you to do just that. Leaders ignoring their people, killing innocents, or everyday people who leave cruel social media comments, often on purpose to elicit a response and pull one from their grace. The more I come to see this, the less the actions and words affect me. I’ve begun to realize that it is the enemy trying to rob us of our grace, not the individual. So, I forgive and pray for them. Occasionally though I still get sucked in, especially when I see someone being cruel to another person. I want to defend.

Learning to defend without judgement or hitting back is a challenge. I’ve begun to ask, “Why are they doing this instead?” but then find myself pondering if this too is judgement.

When I am not deceived or pulled in, I find I am more at peace. Occasionally I ask God, “Did you see that? I did it”. As if God would fist-bump me for doing what he expects. Nope. He comes back and reminds me that pride is a sinful thing. It is usually my responses in these situations where I expect he laughs and says, “Oh child, you have so much to learn. Here, let me show you.” Eventually though I get it, one misstep at a time.

Don’t get me wrong. We need to stand up for what is right. We need to protect the innocent, and we need to become prayer warriors. There is an arsenal of assistance available to us in prayer. Saints and angels ready and willing to intercede on our behalf. God does not forget the forsaken and persecuted.

God is there waiting, wanting you to walk with him. It is your choice. He loves you through it all. Grow with him, love him, and carry him with you every second of every day. When you stumble, be gentle with yourself, but learn the lesson. Pray without ceasing. As you wake, as you walk through your day, and when you lay your head to rest, pray.

When things go wrong, examine them with the heart of the Father. Examine the choices you’ve made along the way. Instead of asking, “Why me?”, perhaps try saying, “God, I surrender to your will. If this be your desire, let me carry it with grace.”

May you walk with joy and peace in your heart regardless of the circumstances you find yourself in, and may the Father bless you always.

Free inspirational or motivational posts can be found on the inspirational page of Leslie’s website.