Be a survivor, a victor, an overcomer just don’t be a victim.
We have all had things done to us that was hurtful, harmful or disrespectful, some worse than others. The key is to not become the victim but rather be the victor.
When something bad happens, we can whine and complain, or feel sorry for ourselves, but the reality is this – it changes nothing. What happened, has happened and it is now in your past.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to take charge and move forward. Depending on the situation, you may need to take some time to heal and to forgive before you can fully move forward. The other person does not win, why? Because you are not stuck in a continual loop; you rise, like a Phoenix from the ashes, to face another day.
Other ways people play the victim is through laziness. It comes out in comments like ’it’s too hard’, ’I can’t’, and ’I don’t know how to’. Reality checks are often needed when it comes to these statements. Let’s break them down a bit.
It’s Too Hard
It’s hard, perhaps, but usually because you haven’t learned how to do it or taken the steps to figure it out. Things are always hard at the beginning until we learn how to do them.
If you are struggling, find someone who has done what you are trying to do and ask them what, and how they did it. There’s never any harm in asking. Most people are willing to help. If they aren’t, that’s okay find someone who is. Just don’t give up.
There are a ton of free resources out there with people willing to help. Join a Facebook or Community Group where people have tried or are trying to do what you are, or who have overcome a situation similar to yours.
When people use ’I can’t ’, more often than not it means ’I don’t want to’. They want the easy way out and have someone do it for them. When you do this, you are not helping them at all. Show them how, but don’t do it for them.
When you do it for them, they don’t learn. Tell them what to do, show them how to do it and then watch as they try to do it themselves. When they get stuck offer assistance and explanations. This is how they will learn.
I Don’t Know How To
This is one of my favourites to hear. Why? Because it opens the door for them to learn how. They aren’t just throwing their hands up in the air and saying ’I can’t’, they are being honest and saying they don’t know how to do something. It becomes a perfect teaching and learning opportunity.
It is okay to not know how to do something, everybody learns different things at different times. Make sure not to use not knowing how as an excuse for not doing at all. We all have our strengths and our weaknesses. We all have the ability to teach and to be taught.
You can go through life grumbling, complaining and whining, in other words playing the ’poor me’ card. This is a victim mentality and honestly, it gets old very quickly. Or, you can choose to learn, to overcome and to be a conqueror of your problem/situation.
How the world sees you is entirely up to you. The choice is always yours. So, please don’t choose to be a victim when instead you can be so much more.
Free inspirational or motivational posts can be found on the inspirational page of my website.