The people in our lives say much, but we also need to listen to what isn’t being said.
When someone is silent when you expect them to be talkative, you must ask yourself why? Our first response is usually to discover if they are mad at us, but much of the time, the reality is that they are not. We feel dismissed, unimportant but the thing is, their silence isn’t about us, it’s about them.
Sometimes, people are quiet because they are considering their options. They are attempting to figure out which path is the one they should take. Perhaps, they need time to figure out how best to respond to you. Sometimes, they recognize their response would not be helpful and they choose to remain silent.
When someone who is normally buoyant and talkative becomes quiet, it becomes obvious and stands out from the norm. Are they hurting, confused, depressed even? There could be many reasons for their silence. To find out the answer we must ask them if they are okay and observe them.
Listen to what isn’t being said. I know it sounds weird, and it’s not easy to do, but it is what is required of us at the time. Look at the person what does their body language say? Do their facial expressions give any clue to how they are feeling?
It is easy to miss the silent cues that a person gives us. Usually, this is because we are too focused on our own needs. We typically want the person to be, and act, as we expect them too. When they don’t, we aren’t comfortable and do not like it. We want to change them and get them back to the place we expect them to be.
Always remember, it isn’t about you, it is about them. When you do this, it will be easier to listen to what isn’t being said.
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